Thursday, July 22, 2010

Words for today ...

Peace ...
it does not mean to be in a place where there is not noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and be calm in your heart.

Work is hard. Life is much more difficult than I thought it would be. I wish that the adults in High School had taken a more honest approach to how life was going to go when I was going through their class rooms. I had a drama teacher for example who personified the fact that life just won't turn out like we plan. As they say "Man plans, God laughs'. Said drama teacher had an edge to her. A piece of herself that was hard. She never really talked about it but I think that life had chopped down the free spirit that she had once been. I didn't realize when I was going through school. I was so involved in my own life and the 'sky's the limit' propaganda that I was being fed.

I was lucky I guess, some people have the joy in their hearts taken from them at an early age. How do we go about capturing that joy again? How do we find the freedom that we once had?

Do you remember driving along on a Friday night after school got out? The windows down and the radio up? Your friends riding along with you? I want that again. I want to be joyful for a slice of pizza and not counting calories. I want to be happy for a green chili burrito in the dead of summer. I want to find that inner joy that life tries to stamp out. That's my goal.

Not that my life is that hard. I am very lucky and very blessed with a wonderful group of friends. One of my favorite things to do is drink a glass of wine, throw my feet in the pool and enjoy the moon. (Thanks to 'Moonstruck' for that) But you cant tell me that this..... not beautiful.

For a while now, the hard things about growing up have been weighing me down. Like small weights being tied on my body, the fears that come naturally have started to overtake who I am. I'm really really going to try to stop them from taking over my life. Really, I am! First on the list ... I am going to be 31 in December. There are several things I have to do before I turn 31. Things that will help me reclaim my childhood joy in life.

1-Sing karaoke. Always wanted to do to.
2-Ride a mechanical bull. Looks like fun.
3-Eat dinner .. in a resturant .. by myself. I don't know why I have this fear.
4-Go indoor rock climbing.I have no idea why I'm putting this off.

So..the countdown begins....

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