Monday, July 19, 2010

Well...that was short

I know, I know, I didn't finish the date story. To steal the phrase that I was told this past week “things have been out of control”.
Since I’m a ‘True Blood’ addict I spent yesterday prepping for the dinner party that I had, which was able to get my mind off the fact that I wasn’t so much as dumped by the Cowboy, he just disappeared. Which was kind of surprising to be frank. All was fine, the night we had dinner, we were up until 3am. We had dinner, we went to a bar and then we sat in his car and just hung out. At one point he had put his arm around me and said that I was a perfect fit. I should have documented this better so that you can feel the sting of rejection that I’ve had for the last few weeks. We had several dates, I went to his house, he came to mine, we kissed, we laughed, I thought we had fun.
Over a week ago, we again had dinner on a Friday night. I thought we had fun. After dinner, he came inside for about ten minutes, kissed me goodnight and I haven’t heard anything since.

Silence, crickets, not even a wrestle in the bushes.

I was pretty shocked. The whole thing was surprising and made me think, why couldn’t he have the balls to call and let me know he just wasn’t feeling it.
I ,of course, have sent two single text messages and that’s it. That might make me a coward but isn’t he a coward for not calling. I mean, what am I supposed to say

“Hey, so…why did you stop calling?”

Makes me feel like I’m a teenager and we have math together. Well I’m not a teenager and I sure as hell deserve a lot better. I thought that we had fun and it kind of sucks that I didn’t warrant a call saying that he in fact not had as much fun as I did. Which to be frank, hurts my feelings.

Why don’t I warrant a call?

Not that I would now call him and ask him. I do have some pride. For goodness sake. The really bleechy (yes, I made that word up) part of this is that it makes me want to give less of myself next time, to maybe keep those walls up a little bit more. This is how those walls are built you know. Each time something happens, another layer of bricks are added. I try really had to not do that, to keep myself accessible.

But its tough

Its especially hard when I hear all the stories my guy friends have about these girls that they are “in love” with. This is an appropriate use of quotations by the way. Some girls are super freakin crazy! The crap that some guys deal with is nuts. Now, I don't think I am that nuts, I do have a few cashews in there someplace but over all I'm pretty cool. So what the hell gives? Where is my Risotto man? Is some crazy broad truly keeping him in limbo? Bitch, let go! I'm tired of dating these morons!

Ugghh... I know, I know.

Its not all gals, guys are equally as heinous.
I know because I’m pretty sure I dated them all. The guy before the Cowboy called to tell me that not only had he knocked up another girl…but…she was still in High School. That was a kick in the face. The point is…how do you keep picking yourself up and dusting yourself off? Why is it that everyone is so sure that you won’t be alone? It just might happen. For right now, I think I’ll nurse my bruised ego and forget that he didn’t call and how much fun the two weeks were.
At least we ended on a high note…right?

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