Happy Halloween!!

This post is so far over due, Halloween is here! This is literally my favorite holiday. Well besides Christmas. But Halloween is so much fun! I actually decorated for the holiday the last day of September. But am now just getting around to showing you some of my decor. 

Every year I throw a Halloween party. Last year was the first in awhile that I didn't only because I was moving back from LA to AZ. My sister was kind enough to pick up the slack for me. 

But this year my holiday party will return with a vengeance! 

Two years ago I decided I wanted to do a witch theme, I had already picked the theme for that years party (dio de los muertos) so the witch theme was sidelined until this this year. I'm pretty excited about it!

I am going to do a pot roast in honor of the with from Hansel and Gretel. Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty will be represented by a curly, green, blue cheese salad. The Evil Queen from Snow White will (of course) be bringing poison apples. There will be a showing from the witch Dr from The Princess and The Pea in the form of garlic lime chili chicken wings (my friends wouldn't eat frog legs). This is just a few of the tasty treats I'm going to whip up! 

Halloween isn't just my favorite holiday, it's my group's as well. Every year we carve pumpkins, visit one of the local farms for their Halloween festival, watch Hocus Pocus, Sleepy Hallow, Scream and order as many apple ciders and pumpkin lattes as we can. One of our longest standing traditions is to go on a Ghost Tour! One year we did a pilgrimage to Flagstaff and walked the streets in dark night, listening to the stories of the city's past. A few times, we've trekked to downtown Phoenix and heard all about the Hotel San Carlos. We've even been back east and walked the deserted streets of colonial Willismburg, straining to hear the infamous footsteps of Lady Anne as she ran from the Governor's party the night she died. We've stayed in haunted hotels, visited graveyards and walked the paths of civil wars battles. 

We are suckers for a good ghost story. 

Ironically, we will won't set foot inside a fake haunted house. Well, besides DisneyLand. 

By far, the best tour we have been on was in Jerome Arizona. 

First of all, the hotel we stayed was so sweet! 

It was my friend's birthday and along with fresh roses from someones garden during the turn down service, they gave us a homemade bunt cake and 2 bottles of champagne (since we were staying there 2 nights). 

http://connorhotel.com/new/

Besides the hotel (which was haunted!) our weekend and ghost tour night had all the elements needed to make a truly terrifying adventure! 

Overcast, thunder, lightening. A light drizzle. 

We had dinner at a haunted hotel and made our way down the street to the tour. 

The air had a perfect chill. The sun sinking low behind the banks of dark, full clouds.  

It was as if God himself wanted us to have a fright! 

It was a great night, followed by cake and champagne in our rooms as we toasted our braveness.

This year we are percolating on what exactly will be the treat to tempt out adventuresome holiday spirit! 

Here's to my ragtag group of ghost tour friends! Happy halloween and many pumpkin spice lattes to you! 

xoxoxo

Pumpkin Spice Latte

What you need:

Pumpkin Syrup

2 1/2 cups of water

1 tablespoon of ground nutmeg

3 cinnamon sticks or 1 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon

1/2 inch piece fresh ginger or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1 cup of sugar

3 tablespoons canned pumpkin

Coffee per serving

4 ounces of espresso

4 ounces of milk (warmed and frothed)

2 to 3 tablespoons pumpkin syrup

whipped cream if desired

What you do:

To make the syrup combine spices and water in a medium sized sauce pan. Bring water to a boil, and then turn down the water with spices to simmer. Allow the spiced water to simmer for 20 minutes. Strain out spices by pouring the water through a coffee filter. You want the seasoned water to be free of the spices. Place water back into the pan and add sugar and pumpkin mix well. Simmer this for another 10 minutes. This will yield about 1 pint of pumpkin spice syrup. Store in an air tight container in the refrigerator.

To make the latte prepare 4 ounces of espresso or strong coffee. In a coffee cup place 2 to 3 tablespoons of pumpkin syrup, then add coffee. Gently pour the frothed milk over the coffee, and gentle stir. If desired top with whipped cream and a dash of ground nutmeg.

Author: CopyKat RecipesRecipe
http://www.copykat.com/2012/10/29/starbucks-pumpkin-spice-latte/

Brownies or a Boyfriend?

Code cracked. I am single because having brownies and watching Kill Bill while drinking margaritas at my house with my friends is infinitely more fun than going out. That's true folks, I am spending my Saturday night watching tv and eating brownies....and I have no shame in that. Sitting on the couch in yoga pants, hot brownie with greek fro-yo in one hand and my 3rd margarita in the other, 

I am reminded how much I love Kill Bill!

I mean, its the ultimate breakup movie! Look, I know its a Tarantino film and I know that its gory gory gory, 

but man is it good! I don't know how you handle breakups but I usually watch a movie over and over again when I'm going through one. I assign a film to the breakup. There was the guy I dated that I watched 'ZombieLand' over and over. Then there was 'Someone Like You'. Once I watched 'Hope Floats' over and over. Movies fix everything. They make everything better. The last breakup, I watched 'Sex and the City' over and over again. The tv series, not the movie. My favorite breakup movie of all time though, I will never assign. It's timeless, its classic, it works for everything. 

Kill Bill

Well...and Kill Bill 2. 

Look,art is open to interpretation. This I know. Its a Rorschach test into how we feel. What we see is a reflection of how we feel. In essence we project our thoughts, feelings and desires onto the piece of art we are looking at. So I know that my views might be a little tainted by current feelings. 

The poor bride. She was beaten, she was brutizlized, she was shot in the head, she was left for dead. She was raped in the hospital, she got her ass kicked, she got cut by a samuri sword, she was buried alive. 

Her best friends turned on her. 

And she kept coming. 

She never gave up. 

She kept going after Bill for what he did to her. 

Pure revenge driving her on. 

Uma Thurman is is incredibly beautiful and wonderfully insane with rage. Hence why women love it. 

Men can make us nuts. 

I'm sure as hell not going to go on a rampage, at most I'll cry into my pillow and run harder on the treadmill. 

But I can admire her anger and absolute drive for what she wants. Which just happens to be (well deserved) revenge.  

Look, I could wax poetic about this movie so much.  

This movie is the about your great, psychotic love. Everyone has/had one. The one that makes you crazy, 

You know what I always find amazing? Or funny I guess I could say. 

She finally got Bill. She chased him down through two movies and countless murders and she finally caught him. She walked in on him. And she found what she had been looking for. 

I find it incredibly sad. We try and we try. We hurt and we hurt. 

We act out and we do things to numb the pain. 

We try to make it go away and we try to make it end.
And when we finally get where we though we wanted to be, it was so different from what we had thought it should have been.

In the end. She kills Bill. She uses Pai Mei, the 

"Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique", which you quickly strike five pressure points around the heart with the fingertips, the victim takes five steps, the heart explodes and he/she falls dead. 

She does this to Bill and then he sits and just looks at her. 

Its in that moment when its too late, when Bill and she both know he is going to die that they both realize how far its actually gone. 

I'm sure Bill realized it when he shot her in the head.
At least I hope so but he is sociopathic bastard after all. 

Saturday Night Brownies

What you need:

6 ounces bittersweet chocolate chips (about 1 cup) or coarsely chopped bittersweet chocolate 

8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), cut into 8 pieces 

2 large eggs, at room temperature 

1 cup granulated sugar 

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

1/2 teaspoon baking powder 

1/4 teaspoon fine salt 

1 cup all-purpose flour

What you do:

Heat the oven to 350°F and arrange a rack in the middle. 

Line an 8-by-8-inch metal baking pan with aluminum foil. 

Combine the chocolate and butter in a medium saucepan and cook over low heat, 

stirring frequently, until melted and smooth. 

Remove from the heat and let cool slightly, about 5 minutes. 

(Alternatively, melt the chocolate and butter in the microwave, stirring every 30 seconds.) 

Combine the eggs, sugar, vanilla, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl and stir with a rubber spatula until just evenly incorporated. 

Add the chocolate mixture and stir until evenly combined. 

Add the flour and fold in until just incorporated, about 20 strokes (no white streaks should remain). 

Pour the batter into the prepared pan, push it to the edges in an even layer, and smooth the top. 

Bake until a cake tester or skewer inserted into the center comes out clean, about 25 minutes. 

Remove to a wire rack and let the brownies cool for at least 20 minutes. 

To remove the brownies, grip the excess foil and pull it out of the baking pan. 

Transfer to a cutting board and cut the brownies into 2-inch square

Chicken Cordon Bleu

It's throwback Thursday! 

Do you know what this means? That you do something from your past. Chicken Cordon Bleu was literally the first thing I learned to cook on my own. I mean besides simple stuff. 

I don't really cook for men.
I know! Shocking right?? 

If I cook for you, its a pretty big deal. Sadly, the few guys I have cooked for haven't realized this. Food is important, cooking is personal. I put a piece of myself in every dish I create. Some men just don't respect that. I've made a fancy dinner only to be canceled on mere hours before he was supposed to come over. I've made dinner for someone who made faces because he doesn't recognized an ingredient. I've cooked for someone who thought that I was a short order cook. I mean really?! It's no wonder I don't cook for guys. You just don't deserve it! Anyhow. This was the first time I cooked for someone and his roommate no less. 

True to what would become classic me cooking for men, it didn't go that well. He didn't even really seem to like what I made. Thank god I'm sort of a pain in the ass and resolved to rarely cook for men. I can count on one hand the number of times I put knife to board and butter to skillet to make food for men.

Shit, at least the chicken is good! This combines all things that I love. Meat and cheese. And bread. All you need is butter and life is good. Actually, the recipe below is simple Chicken Cordon Bleu. Even back then I was kind of fancy. I pounded the chicken out, heated some butter on the stove top and did a lite saute of the chicken on one side. I put all the cheese and ham on the sauteed side and rolled it up, raw side out. As you can see, once you master this little gem, there's a LOT of different ways you can make it! Enjoy!  

Chicken Cordon Bleu

What you need

 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves

 1/4 teaspoon salt

 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

 6 slices Swiss cheese

 4 slices cooked ham

 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs

What you do

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). 

Coat a 7x11 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.

Pound chicken breasts to 1/4 inch thickness.

Sprinkle each piece of chicken on both sides with salt and pepper. 

Place 1 cheese slice and 1 ham slice on top of each breast. 

Roll up each breast, and secure with a toothpick. 

Place in baking dish, and sprinkle chicken evenly with bread crumbs.

Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink. 

Remove from oven, and place 1/2 cheese slice on top of each breast. 

Return to oven for 3 to 5 minutes, or until cheese has melted. 

Remove toothpicks, and serve immediately.

Chopped Salad

Ah the single life. 

The hardest part about being now being single is my brain. I think my brain hates me. It likes to make me think of all sorts of crazy stuff. Usually at 2:30 in the morning. All sorts of random stuff too! 

You know what I'm talking about. 

"How much money is in my checking account?"

"When do I need to change my oil?"

"Have I DVR'd that (insert your favorite show)?"

"Did I set my alarm so I can get up in 2 hours and go to the gym before work?" 

"Do I have to go to the gym before work?" 

"OMG! What was that noise? Is that a monster?" 

"Should I just pack it in and buy 18 cats?"

 Ugh! That last one is the WORST! It's like the herpes of thought. Especially at 2am. You know what I'm talking about. Don't pretend like you don't. I love my life, I love my job and I don't mind being single. But at 2am when I think some monster is about to get me, it would nice to roll over and spoon someone. 

At least my dating life provides entertainment to all my friends. Its a series of hilarious dates in which I end the night just sipping the last of my wine and hoping that he will stop talking and just pay for dinner already! I mean nothing against those guys. I've been on a quite a few interesting dates in the last few weeks. They typically end with me thanking my foresight into getting wine before the date to drink once the date is over. This date is no exception. I am telling you this story a little bit out of order. This date actually came AFTER the next recipe that I am going to give you but I've been eating this salad non-stop and I have to share the love with you. My BFF made this salad for her parents then again for herself....and then again for herself. I understand this addiction, its a really good salad! 

I'm pretty careful when I meet a new person. I don't need you to know my last name or where I live. That's like 4th date stuff. You cant be too careful you know! Obviously, I've been watching a lot of 'Dates From Hell' on True Crime Tv. That shit will scare you. Whatever you do, don't watch it before a date. Now chopped salad guy I had actually already been on one date with. It could have been the wine or the fact that he fell all over himself to tell me how pretty I was (hey, I'm simple!) but I had an ok time. Not good enough to want to stay out past my bedtime but still good enough to agree to a second date at his favorite restaurant. I walk into the restaurant and Mr Not Wonderful is sitting at the bar drinking an ice tea. No hating there, it was a week night, I rarely drink vino on weeknights anymore. What can I say? I'm getting my girlish figure back! We navigated to a table where I had a full view of the stone pizza over. Hot, gooey, cheesy gourmet pizza by hot, gooey, cheesy gourmet pizza floated by us. 

My mouth watered. 

Regardless of my ambiguity of my date, I was excited by the thought of pizza. 

I looked at my menu and pondered my choices. 

Only to be stopped by words that chilled me to my bones, 

"Do you trust me?" 

He looked at me like a little bird, eyes blinking, waiting for my response. 

Do I trust him? 

NO. 

I barely know him! I haven't told him my last name yet for god's sake and he's asking if I trust him?

My mind raced. My manners versus my tastebuds. 

This was a gourmet pizza place after all, surely he has a good order. And while he was far from being over weight, he wasn't going out on the beach in a speedo anytime soon. 

The man had to know how to eat well. 

I nodded and smiled, closed my menu and said 

"Sure!" 

The waitress came by. I waited with baited breath on what tempting pizza he was going to order for us. He had ,after all, said that the BLT pizza was his favorite. 

"We'll have the chopped salad." 

pause, me thinking there was more to come, this was dinner after all. 

"Split" 

HE CLOSED HIS MENU AND SAID 

"That's all, thank you."

That's it? A SPLIT chopped salad? 

I mean, I'm happy splitting something but a SALAD? While I had to sit and watch pizza pie after tempting pizza pie float past me on a cloud of garlic infused oil air? After I drove all the was to Scottsdale to meet you after a full day of work?  

This was dating purgatory. 

I don't really remember much after that. He talked, I pretended to listen. He talked more. I looked in vain at the door. 

Finally, the salad arrived. It was small, I had little hope of being satisfied. 

I'm not going to lie to you.....this was hands down the best salad I have ever had. It was so good, I almost licked the plate. In my defense, I was also really hungry. But this salad was GOOD! It's so addicting that you will give up chocolate for it. Ok, maybe not chocolate but it's still really good. It was almost worth being stuck on one of the most boring dates I have ever been on in my life. Seriously, like B-O-R-I-N-G.  

No chemistry at all.

When the check came, I didn't even make a courtesy offer. You ordered salad to split?  You pay the bill bud. And no, when you try to kiss me, you will get a hug.  

And yes, I will stop at Del Taco on the way home for chicken soft tacos. 

Luckily for you, I'm giving you this recipe! You don't have to go on a bad date to eat this nosh! 

And you can eat the whole thing if you want! 

Its honestly satisfying if your not on a date with Mr Salad. 

Seriously, this salad is the easiest thing you will ever make! The resturant version had turkey but I took it out of my version becuase well....sometimes you just have to get rid of the turkey to make something truly worthwhile....

(ohhh, see that? Its a pun! The guy's a turkey! Get it? Get it?) 

I know this doesn't look like much but have a lil' faith? M'kay??

Chopped Salad 

What you need: 

1 package any salami (I like peppered) 

1 package grape tomatoes 

1 package mozzarella cheese 

3 heads romaine lettuce 

4 lemons 

2 TBL Olive Oil (more to taste) 

Greek seasoning, I use Penzeys Greek seasoning. Its divine!! 

What you do:

Juice the lemons 

Add the Olive Oil 

Add Greek seasonings 

Put all of that in an empty water bottle (trust me) 

Shake that thing like you are doing a Richard Simmons video

*Yes, I know I didn't give a measurement. I do the Olive Oil and the seasoning to taste. Usually I use 1 TBL seasoning. 

Chop the hell out of the lettuce and the salami. 

When you cut the salami, stack all the rounds up on each other and cut into strips. 

Cut the tomatoes into halves or fourths depending on your preference 

Toss the lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and salami 

Dress the salad with as much dressing as you would like. 

Have wine on the side. Wine makes everything better. 

Eat. Become addicted. Your welcome. 

Roar

Hey, how about I turn this blog into one about music? Kidding. I'm not going to do that. But I do have to say that I recently (like as of this moment) came across a song by (who else) Katy Perry. My girl Katy and I seem to have a thing for the bad boys, if you believe the gossip rags. At least her bad boy (Russell Brand) was reformed. Now she's fooling around with John Mayer. If the gossip is to be believed, he's becoming reformed too. How does she do that?? My bad boys never reform, they still sleep on mattress on the floor, like to drink with kids who are barely legal, complain about every single person in their life, refuse to take any responsibility and have no desire to actually do something productive with their lives. Their main motivation seems to be a desire to hurt my feelings and 'teach me a lesson'. Let me school you something ladies, when a man feels like its necessary to tell you lies under the guise that it's to show you how some imagined infraction feels....well, that's flat out abusive behavior. And you are worth more. 

I read this book recently called  'The Power of the Lady Bits'. The actual title substitutes 'lady bits' for something a little more salty that is another word for cat. Totally changed my life. Seriously. The whole thing is about how to date, how to realize your own worth. I j'adore this book. I'm actually forcing my book club to read it. There was this one chapter that talks about the 'red flag men'. You know, the guys that have red flags go up but your hormones tell you to overlook those? I read the list that she had in the book and kept thinking 'check, check, check, check....oh shit.'. I read  the whole thing in the hopes that I could cure my brain of the bad boy. And move on to the nice guy. The amazing thing is, it actually worked! I actually found myself becoming more interested in the good guys. One thing it also teaches you is how to let go of the losers, the posers, the bad boys and not be upset. Case in point-
I went on a few dates with this computer programmer type guy. Cute, little geeky, older than me. Out of nowhere, he stops calling and texting. Do I get offended? Heck no! I move on to another 'pot on the stove'!
A week later, he texts about how he's sorry for the MIA and a sob story about how dating sucks. I tell him all is cool. Thanks for letting me know.
Douche bag actually has the audacity to say to me that he is "down for the physical" if I am. I promptly let him know that I am not that kind of lady. Not a peep since.
Normally, this would upset me. I would obsess over the idea that he thought I was that type of girl. I would wonder how I came off like that seeing as how nothing had happened between us. I would feel bad about myself and wonder if that's all I am to guys, a piece of ass.
But now? I could care less. Whatever!
His loss.
I'm fabulous.
Seriously girls. Read this book! Live your life the way you want to! Be free! Have fun!!

I know this might be a touch contradictory to my last post but in actuality it goes hand in hand with the concepts that this book teaches you.
You have to be happy being you before you can be happy dating someone. So I am happy with me. I am so stinking happy with me. I like spending time with me. I like to date myself. I typically am an easy date, ice cream and wine makes me a happy girl. I've heard there is an ice cream that is made of WINE.
How stinking great is that?? Sign me up!
  Thanks to this new found mojo, I have been on some interesting dates lately. I'm getting back into the dating pool, if only to provide everyone with some very funny stories. And trust me, they are really funny. I maintain that my husband probably lives in Ireland and owns his own pub because he got tired of brain surgery.

I know you want some nosh so I promise coming up you will see 'Let's meet at a gourmet pizza place and I will order us a chopped salad... to share' Chopped Salad recipe and 'Let's split this check, ok?' mini grilled cheese sliders recipe.

So this is whats on repeat right now. Download it. Love it. 

"Roar"
By my gal Katy Perry

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath

Scared to rock the boat and make a mess

So I sat quietly, agreed politely

I guess that I forgot I had a choice

I let you push me past the breaking point

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up

Get ready cause I’ve had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Louder, louder than a lion

Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You’re gonna hear me roar

Now I’m floating like a butterfly

Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes

I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up

Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Louder, louder than a lion

‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You’re gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You'll hear me ROAR

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me ROAR...

Roar-or, roar-or, roar-or

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Louder, louder than a lion

‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You’re gonna hear me ROAR

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You'll hear me ROAR

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me ROAR...

How to be alone

I might be a hippie at heart. I mean, like a trendy hippie. Who still likes to drink my Starbucks (Trenta, black iced tea with whole milk instead of H2O and raspberry instead of classic), still likes to get massages and facials, who prefers girls weekends to Sedona or Prescott while sleeping in uber comfy beds that envelop me like clouds, and someone who loves her sock bun in her hair and a mimosa at brunch on Sunday.
I am a trendy hippie. Which is probably why I like Tanya Davis and her spoken word artsy music. I was introduced to her piece "How To Be Alone" and I totally fell in love.
I first heard of this lovely little ditty on FB. Someone posted it and I clicked on it.
I watched it over and over and over again.
The words washing over me in some sort of verbal, hypnotic absolution.
A concept so simple, so pure and so freeing.
How to be alone.
How to be alone. How to move through life without the buffer of a cell phone, a friend, a book, a newspaper. How to instead to look life in the eye as you walk among the throngs of everyone. The moving, vibrating pulse of life. How to disconnect yourself enough from that overwhelming,  interwoven, living breathing, suffocating, mass of humanity to appreciate each single being that makes up the rush.
I get lost in trying to fill my mind all day. I work at trying to keep up with everything, involved with everything, a part of everything.
   I am a marinater. I take something in, I let it sit in my brain, I marinate on it. Let it really soak in.
I saw this clip over a year ago. And it took root. It started slowly, I bought her cd. I liked, still like, the rhythm of her music. The way it slips into your head and reverberates around it. Its like a really comfortable sweater.
I've lived in LA by myself. So I assumed that I knew how to be alone, how to be comfortable in public alone. But I wasnt. I hate being alone. I'm fine running to the store or the library or a bookstore. I'm ok but uncomfortable going to the gym by myself. I guess the whole point is that right now, I am learning how to be alone.
How to be ok with walking streets by myself or perhaps (like the artist suggests) going to dinner by myself.
Looking at the families around me, the people, the dates. All that life moving forward to an unseen end.
An unknown conclusion.
I am learning how to be comfortable that there is no one next to me. No one that I can text at 3am when I wake with a bad dream. No one that will kiss my cheek before bed and tell me that they love me.
I am learning to be ok that I am almost 33 and have yet to experience the great adventure that great love and marriage is. And I'm getting to be ok with that. I am getting to be truly, deeply happy with a state of singlehood that I am in.
Sometimes, when I go to the market after work and I pick up my wine and some gourmet nonsense that I want for dinner and maybe a pint of that really amazing gelato, I get behind in line with a stay at home mom. She has two kids screaming in the basket and a mixture of cheap mac and cheese, milk, cheerios, and other homey family style items. I look at her and I wonder if she wishes she were me. I know that beyond that stupid gelato I have, is a desire to fill a hole. The stay at home mom will later cook dinner for two kids while they play. She will watch them and adore them and they adore her, even if they are embarrassing her by screaming about gummy bears right now. Later, she will crawl into bed with her husband and watch some news channel. And she will sleep. I am a little jealous of her. I know this sounds selfish maybe self serving and vapid. But I wonder do we all secretly wish to be on that "greener" grass?
I guess the point is, I am leaning to love where I am. The road that I am on. I will love it, no matter where it takes me. I have no idea what is in store. But I am going someplace. Alone or with someone.

For your viewing pleasure.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

This lil' frog

"Where have I been?" 

......ask my few friends and single devoted reader (hi mom). Well, I was on hiatus for a while. I don't really feel much like posting to be honest with you but regardless, I have decided that I should be writing. Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” And there is absolute truth in that. 

First off, happy summer everyone! Mine has been a bit of an adventure really! I have spent this summer visiting many of the small towns in Arizona that I didn't really appreciate until now. My lil' gaggle of gals spent the past few weeks doing weekend trips to Sedona, day trips to PineTop, birthday trips to Tucson and one strange drive to Wickenberg that wound us through the mountains to Prescott and back down to the valley. This past weekend I threw a bridal shower for my cousin and on the same day made a mad dash for the little mining town, Jerome. Where I did a ghost tour of the city. Uh, ps the hotel we stayed at? Totally haunted! And they brought us two bottles of champagne and a bunt cake for my friends birthday. 

Oh! And they gave us fresh roses as part of the turn down service! Hello amazing! 

All in all, it has truly been a wonderful summer of personal growth and awareness. I spent a fair amount of time reading a book which empowered me to take control of my life. Don't worry, I will definitely fill you in on that in a later post. This summer has been one that has taught me the value of true friendship and who you can really count on. I also have so much to look forward to! My cousin's bachlorette party and her wedding as well as my brother in laws 30th birthday! WHEW! Busy summer followed by a busy fall. 

I guess the biggest thing that I want to talk about is the realization that its time to start exploring this world that I live in. I was sitting at work this past week, toiling away, when it just hit me how deliciously free I am. I have no boyfriend/husband/children to tie me to a place. I have no mortgage that I am beholden to. I have nothing ,really, to tether me so tightly to this state that I (admittedly) love so much. I have gypsy dust in my soul that has been aching to explore a landscape that is foreign and older than anything I have seen. That's how it happened. Once in your life you need to do something scary, you need to make a choice that will shape you in ways you intrinsically know will be massive but that you lack a real understanding of what that shift will be. I don't even have a passport but I ,along with my sisters and two of our best girlfriends, are going to jump the puddle called the North Atlantic Ocean and land in Dublin, Ireland. It even just sounds magical, doesn't it!?  For those of you who have done lots of international travel, this must be like a second nature to you. This is not really a big deal for you. But for me, its an exciting new adventure. A new step in a new path that will open unlocked secrets while I explore a completely new country. 

I'm not doing a tour, I'm not getting a guide, and I'm not using a bus. Right now, the plan is to land in Dublin, spend a few days, drive to Galway, spend a few days, then drive to Cork and spend a few days then finally back to Dublin. I'm so excited I can barely contain it! A foreign land where I only have my best gaggle and myself to count on. I'm doing all sorts of reading because the last thing we all want to do is the tourist thing. We want explore the small, out of the way villages. We want to eat in a pub. To walk the back roads and watch crisp, white linens flap in the breeze on a laundry line. We want to get stopped by a sheep in the road.  We want to talk to the locals and smell Ireland. To get it on our fingers and in our souls. We want to walk where few people have. The best way that I can explain it is to plagiarize something from one of the (many) podcasts I have been obsessively listing to. We want to be seen as part of the party instead of a boost to the economy. Now, I know we have a few months while we all save our pennies and plan our trip so you will be subjected to random bouts of bubbling over excitement but I promise to try and be interesting! First up? I'm learning about international travel 101. 

IE- How the the hell do I rent a car in Ireland??

For ages now I have been spouting off to anyone who will listen that I will publish the book I have been working on and move to Ireland or Scotland and live on the side of cliff. Well, there is nothing like an 8 day journey to give me a taste of my dream and jolt me into making it a reality! 

Goal- actually finish my book before setting foot off onto my adventure. The clock starts now.....

The Cliffs of Moher.

Women.....

This is something that we all need to remember. 

Sometimes we forget, Lord knows I have. 

We should be.....

Under his arm, to be protected 

and next to the heart to be loved. 

A man is lucky to get a woman's love and when he treats that gift like it doesn't matter, he no longer deserves your time, your energy, your respect and ,least of all, 

Your heart. 

1920's

I know, I know. You are seriously sick of the whole 1920's thing but I am totally obsessed right now. I was honestly about to move and post something about food, like the apple crumble that I am mulling over right at this moment. But ,darn it! NPR had to stream live the Gatsby soundtrack and I fell into my little world of music. No one does it better than Baz Lutherman. Hello! Romeo and Juliet?! Moulin Rouge?! You are killing me with auditory pleasure! So here I sit with the Andre 3000/Beyonce version of 'Back to Black' on repeat. I am seriously having an affair with the whole thing. Amy Winehouse did a fab version, lets give credit where credit is due, but the smoky, sexy, drugged version in Gatsby has me inspired. 

I finally moved on and imagine my utter joy when I heard the strains of one of my favorite artists, Goyte. When I listened to the lyrics, I really thought he had crawled inside my head and managed to articulate the entirety of  my last relationship. I felt a little stirring in my chest and the familiar ache of how I feel like I failed flitted across my brain. Anyway....enough talk of that tragedy. 

The whole album has a deliciously melancholy feeling to it. I feel like slipping on this flapper dress and throwing this party below. 

I know that this melancholy, nostalgic feeling not really the mood I should have. It is ,after all, Cinco De Mayo weekend. It's also the Kentucky Derby. Alas ,dear peeps, I am not a bar party person and I have a family reunion to attend. Hence, my weekend will be spent perfectly by my pool with a margarita in one hand and this month's book club book in the other. Maybe a weekend CrossFit class but to be honest, I've killed it this whole week and I might want a day off! 

For your reading delight I have included the lyrics to my new favorite repeat, Gotye 'Hearts a Mess'. 

Hearts a Mess

Pick apart

The pieces of your heart

And let me peer inside

Let me in

Where only your thoughts have been

Let me occupy your mind

As you do mine

Your heart's a mess

You won't admit to it

It makes no sense

But I'm desperate to connect

And you, you can't live like this

You have lost

Too much love

To fear, doubt and distrust

(It's not enough)

You just threw away the key

To your heart

You don't get burned

('Cause nothing gets through)

It makes it easier

(Easier on you)

But that much more difficult for me

To make you see...

Love ain't fair

So there you are

My love

Your heart's a mess

You won't admit to it

It makes no sense

But I'm desperate to connect

And you, you can't live like this

Your heart's a mess

You won't admit to it

It makes no sense

But i'm desperate to connect

And you, you cant't live like this

Your heart's a mess

You won't admit to it

It makes no sense

But i'm desperate to connect

And you, you cant't live like this

Love ain't safe

You won't get hurt if you stay chaste

So you can wait

But I don't wanna waste my love

Happy Monday!

As promised, the french toast from the other weekend! This weekend was somewhat lazy lay about. I was supposed to go to my parents but we had a family issue and the trip was postponed until Mothers Day weekend. Which is kind of great for me because I can chart my progress on the evil hill! My sister's Mother in Law was in town so we all hung out. Like I said, relaxing! Make this delish French Toast next time you have a lazy Saturday morning. It hits the spot! 

What you need:

5 slices Leftover Coconut Banana Bread 

5 eggs (beaten) 

3 Tbl Milk 

2 tsp Cinnamon (I used Penzley's Cake Spice, its so yummy)

1/2 Tbl coconut oil (or butter, or Olive Oil. Depends on your taste preference) 

3 cups Fruit (any kind) 

1 tbl honey 

1/4 cup coconut flakes 

Almond slivers 

What you do: 

Mix the beaten eggs, milk and spice. 

Place your bread in the mixture and let it soak for a bit then turn and soak the other side 

Melt (or heat) your coconut oil in a pan until its liquid 

Place the toast in the pan and heat until golden brown (about 1 and half minutes depending on heat) 

While the toast is heating, mix your fruit in a bowl with additional coconut flakes and the honey 

Flip and heat until the other side is golden brown 

Drop on your plate and top with fruit and slivered almonds. 

Quote for the day......

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

Enjoy!!  

The Great Gatsby

“No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart.” 

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

There are some books that just stick with you. They crawl inside your soul and hide there. Snippets of dialog will scroll across your mind when they are most desired. They will paint colors inside your mind and create a new world for you. They will show you things that you would see without them. Books (as someone once said) are worlds waiting to be discovered. For me, the "reality" of the written word is much preferred to the reality of everyday. Books will take you on a journey and you will never be the same. A part of you will forever be altered by the labyrinth of the writer's mind. 

F. Scott Fitzgerald's journey in 'The Great Gatsby' is one of my favorite examples. On the surface, the novel is a story of one man's all encompassing love for a woman. But other theme's play below. Swimming under the surface is the dark exploration of the American Dream and how commerce and money can ruin people and lives. The Great Gatsby is an endearing portrait of America in the 1920's. 

While I am always an advocate for the page instead of the film, I do have to say that I am so excited for this movie! I just saw the new preview for it and I got excited all over again. I love Baz Lutherman. He directed Romeo and Juliet as well as Moulin Rouge. A Baz Lutherman film is defiantly unique and you can tell who made it. His films are also crazy well scored! I am seriously counting the minutes until I can purchase the soundtrack! I can't wait to see Lutherman's interpretation of the this great work. I'll leave you with one of my favorites quotes of all time....

"He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips’ touch she blossomed like a flower and the incarnation was complete.”

Happy Sunday night. 

You are stronger than you know

"Kat, hey Kat. You have to try CrossFit!"

"Kat, hey Kat. Have you thought about trying CrossFit?"

"Kat, hey Kat! Julie and I are going to CrossFit tomorrow morning. You should meet us there!"

These are the words that have been said to me for 3 months by same well meaning co-workers. Sprinkled over me with loving encouragement and a rabid desire to wake up at the crack of dawn and do this thing called 'CrossFit '. I finally started listening.  I think it was because of this whole 60 day challenge thing that I am doing with my gals. I've done really well actually! I took pictures of myself before we started and I will take more when we are done. If I don't feel shy, I might even post my results! 

So my personal CrossFit cheerleaders gave me promises of amazing fitness. Oh, and a company discount. Plus, I could try it out for a week for free. What the heck! I was able to get through 90 minutes of sweaty, grueling hot yoga. I could do a CrossFit workout. 

I promised to meet my personal cheerleaders bright and early this past Monday morning. And by bright and early, I mean at 6am.

I had heard a little about CrossFit but for the most part I was clueless. I went to my source of information....Pinterest. With Pinterest I can not only read what the other pinners say but there's pictures! Yay! 

10 minutes after typing 'CrossFit' into the search option, I knew I might be in trouble. I knew that it would be intense. I knew I would probably die. I knew it would kick my ass....twice. Then make me get up so it could kick my ass again. FML. 

I set my alarm that Sunday night with trepidation. I now knew what I was getting myself into. Frankly, I was scared. I woke up at 3am. Then I woke up at 4am. At 5am, I got out of bed and dressed. Ashley (one of my personal cheerleaders) had told me to get there 15 minutes early to do some intake paperwork. I ran out of the house, forgetting the water bottle that I had carefully placed next to my keys. 

I realized I had forgotten my hydration just as I passed a gas station, so I ran in to get some water. When I got back into my car, my OnStar got confused and then got me lost. 

Whew! I hadn't even made it there and it was already an adventure. 

I righted myself and made my way to gym. Where I was not met by my gals. 

Where I realized that in order to be ready to workout at the appointed 6am hour, I had to walk into the place alone. 

Since I've developed some mild social anxiety in the last year, this is a huge fear of mine. 

As I sat in my car, I realized I could be afraid. Or I could walk in. 

By myself. 

I locked my car, straightened my hair bun and walked in. 

I pushed open the door, walked down the hall and pushed open another door into a gray and red gym. Alice Cooper was playing on the stereo. Burly men and fit women where lifting weights, doing pullups and looking like District 2 from the Hunger Games. Bruce Almighty (as I have since dubbed him) was kind enough to notice my freaked-out-deer-in-the-headlights-what-the-hell-have-I-gotten-myself into look 

and ask me what could he help me with. 

When I explained I was new and was meeting some friends, he sweetly advised me that they have a new policy. All new people have to come when there are two trainers in the gym so that one can work with the masses and the other can explain what the hell CrossFit is and how to do it to the new person. One on One style. I breathed a sigh of relief, said I would come back at 11 when the owner was there as well and beat tracks back to the safety of my car. 

Later that morning ,at work, I talked my friend Dana into going with me. (I'm not quite sure she has forgiven me for it. But I did give her coffee this morning so I think we might be ok.)
We walked in, sat down and realized that we were supposed to be in workout clothes. That when Bruce Almighty asked me to come back he meant so I could do my baseline test. That day. To the chagrin of Boss Man Jason, we set an appointment to come back two days later. Boss Man didn't really explain what a baseline test is, just that we had "better be ready". 

Wednesday, 11:15 on the dot. Dana and I walked into the gym. Ready to meet Boss Man Jason (who I think I remind him of his little sister because he gives me A LOT of grief) BMJ explained that we would do the warmup and then the baseline test. The baseline is how you know you are getting better. BMJ would time us and then in a month, we would do the test again. To see if we can beat our time. 

The warm-up ... THE WARM-UP...is what I would usually call a workout. 

I beat a tire. A tractor tire. With a sledgehammer. 

It. Felt. Awesome. 

I learned how to use a kettlebell. 

I did lunges. I did kicks. I did knee hugs. I jumped rope like Rocky! 

I learned that when I think I reached my limit, I can go farther. 

Then I did my baseline. 

Which meant that I did the rower for 500m, 40 squats, 30 sit ups, 20 push-ups and 10 pull-ups. 

As fast as I could. 

When I finished in (don't you wish you knew?) minutes, I fell to the floor gasping. 

That shit is hard!! 

BUT 

That shit felt AWESOME!  

Leaving that day, I knew I would be back. 

And I was the following morning. Bright eyes and bushy tailed. I was in at 5:55am. Ready to kick my ass. 

I've gone a few times now and I have to say.... I love it! 

I literally hop out of bed, ready to take on the day's WOD. I have more energy through out the day. I find myself smiling more. My favorite part? 

I find that little things that would annoy me, don't. 

So here's my little challenge for myself. 

There's a hill at my parents. A deadly, evil, straight up hill. I run it when I visit them. 

My time has slowly gone up since last year. 

I want that time back down. 

I want to run up that hill and make it my bitch. 

I want that hill to beg for mercy. 

Mothers Day weekend I will have been doing CrossFit for 3 weeks. 

I know my time from BCF (before CrossFit) I'll see what it is next time I visit them. 

And I will make it my personal mission to kill the hill. 

Coconut Banana Bread

The weather is warming up! Soon I'll be able to use my pool! This time of year always makes me happy. The trees are blooming, the air is clean, its not too hot to hike in the after noon and the fresh fruit overflows at the local grocery. Last weekend, my gals and I decided to take a roadtrip up to Pinetop. Its one of their birthdays in July and we've been scoping out locations to have a girls weekend. On the agenda? Nothing. Nothing but wine, food and perhaps some hiking and rafting. We woke early on Saturday because it is a 3 hour drive through some of the oddest towns in Arizona. At one point I looked at them and remarked "This is the town that Rob Zombie gets his extras from." Laughter ensued. It was a long day of driving and scouting I'm sure that it was the DELISH Coconut Banana Bread that I had made us for breakfast that kept our spirits high and our tummies from grumbling. Although, at the end of the day we all did crash out and spent our Saturday night zonked in front of the TV watching an indi film called 'Bachlorette'....which was stinkin funny by the way. In hopes that you too will be inspired to go play tourist in your state, I'm posting the recipe for you. Next up? We're day trippin to Wickenberg! 

What you need: 

1 ¾ cup whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1¼ teaspoon baking soda

3 Large ripe bananas, mashed

½ cup + 2 tablespoons sweetened flaked coconut

½ tablespoon coconut oil (melted) 

1 teaspoon vanilla

½ cup of honey

3 egg whites

2 tablespoons skim milk

¼ cup fat free plain Greek yogurt

¼ cup orange juice

What you do: 

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda together in mixing bowl. Shimmy a little with your hips. It makes the mixing fun. 

In separate large mixing bowl combine mashed bananas, brown sugar, and vanilla. 

Add egg whites and mix together until smooth. Next add oil. 

Then, slowly add in flour and combine until moist. 

Next add Greek yogurt and orange juice. (Depending on the consistency you can add two tablespoons of skim milk. If you like your bread more dense —omit the milk — but if you like it more airy or lighter you can add it.I added it.) 

Add ½ cup of coconut and mix together.

Pour into greased, floured 9×5 inch loaf pan. 

Joyfully cover the top with two tablespoons (or more) of coconut on top.

Bake for 50-60 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean and the bread is golden brown.

I had leftover, so the next day I made tropical French Toast. Don't worry, I'll post that later! I ate my piece drizzled in Raw Honey with a side of mango, strawberries and papaya. With a cup of my new favorite Coconut Hibiscus tea, I felt like I was on a tropical vacation! 

Monday

I know I haven't written all last week but I've had a heavy heart. It was one week ago today that country was wracked by the waves of the Boston bombing. Even now, after one suspect was caught and the other one was killed, there is a sense in the air. There is an uneasiness, an awareness that things will forever be changed. I watched with horror at the pictures across my screen passed by. I looked on with tears as the faces of those that were murdered emerged. And I was happy when the culprits were found. I wanted answers. I still want answers. Why two people would spread such evil into the air. Why they found a need to strike at the heart of innocents. My heart hurts. Its a scary time that we live in. I can easily be sucked into the scariness  the fear of what is going on but in times of great evil there is something that glitters. The hope. The innate goodness of people. The "helpers". Author Dennis Lehane who is a Boston native was speaking to Good Morning America and what he said stuck with me. It filled me with hope. 

"I’ve been proud to be from Boston my whole life – I don’t think I’ve ever been as proud as I have been this week.  The thing that will stick with me the rest of my life is, the plot of these brothers failed within two seconds of the first explosion. Because the objective of terror is to rattle a populous. It’s to make them paralyzed with fear,” he said. “And to see all of these civilians run toward the blast to help their fellow civilians, to help their fellow Bostonians, their fellow members of the human race was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It was one of the great acts of heroism I’ve ever witnessed.”

That part about how the plot of the brothers failed because the object was paralyze bystanders with fear. Boston was not afraid. Boston ran into the smoke, ripped off their clothes to make bandages for strangers, thew their bodies against friends to protect them, CLOSED THE CITY DOWN to catch the evil bastards that did this. In the face of horror and evil, the people ran headfirst to fight the danger. 

And that....that is what gives me hope. 

Pray for Boston. 

At 2:50 today, there is a countrywide moment of silence and prayer for Boston. 

This week.....

60 Day Challenge

Two weeks ago my sister sent me an email about all the peeps at her work doing a 60 day challenge  She sent the rules to our whole group of friends. Some how (in some rabid lemming sort of fashion) we all agreed to take part in this experiment. The ground rules are as follows......

No Coffee- Tea ok sparingly

No soda

No Chi

No sweets of any kind- Honey ok

No fried foods

No breaded foods

No white bread, rice, pasta, or tortilla - you can have whole wheat bread, pasta and tortillas

No junk food

Mozzarella cheese ok

Must Drink at least 64 oz of water a day

Exercise at least 30 minutes per day

15 push ups a day

15 sit ups a day 

1 mile 3 times a week

I don't know what possessed me to give up coffee. Out of all the things that I feel would be the worst, giving up my cuppa joe I thought would be the hardest. I was wrong. 

I miss SUGAR! Oh dear lord how I miss sugar!  

This week in my office has been the worst! 

Cookies on Monday 

Chocolate cake on Wednesday 

And today? Cheesecake! 

I pushed through though and today is actually day 5 of this and I am doing surprisingly well!

For the first three days I tried to do the Tracy Anderson food plan along with her videos.....

No this isn't blood, its beet, parsley, spinach and apple juice I made all by myself. And I also have homemade applesauce and a carrot puree. Aren't ya jealous? 

After that I gave up the baby food inspired plan and became ravenously hungry for chicken. 

Like, all I wanted was some chicken and nothing but chicken. 

I wanted something crunchy and yummy for lunch and came across this lil gem below. I loved the satisfying crunch of the broccoli and the slivered almonds. The link to the original recipe is under but I made a few changes because I also love spice! 

What you need:

1 lbs Chicken

1/4 cup slivered raw almonds

1/2 cup water chestnuts

1/4 cup green onion, chopped

1/4 cup celery, chopped

1 tablespoon minced Ginger

1 tablespoon minced garlic

2 cups broccoli

2 cups shredded cabbage

1 Tbs Coconut oil

1/2 Tbs Chili and Garlic Sauce (more to taste)

Splash Soy Sauce

Sesame seeds to garnish

What you do:

Clean all vegetables and trim fat from meat (I'm pretty picky when it comes to my meat).

Cut broccoli and chicken into bite sized pieces.

Thinly slice 2 cups of cabbage

Julianne (fancy way to say slice) green onion, celery

mince garlic and ginger.

Heat wok over high heat.

Add coconut oil , swirl to coat bottom of wok,

Add green onions, garlic and ginger

Saute lightly then add meat

Cook meat for 3-4 minutes, until mostly cooked.

Add in broccoli, water chestnuts and celery, cook for 2 minutes

Add in almonds and cabbage

 Cook 2-3 minutes, until cabbage softens a little.

Make a 'hole' by moving the food up the sides of the wok

Add a splash of soy sauce and the garlic chili sauce and push food back down to the middle

Toss thoroughly to season

Remove from heat and  sprinkle with sesame seeds

Nosh away folks!!

Original recipe

http://www.primalpalate.com/blog/chicken-and-vegetable-lo-mein/